My relationship with exercise

Do you know what my spirit animal is?  It's actually Jennifer Lawrence.  Especially with this quote.



I hate working out.

I am all for having a healthy lifestyle, and I will go on 10-mile hikes without batting an eyelash.  But when it comes to standing in front of a TV, listening to fit people lecture me on my technique....



I just hate it.  There is nothing fun about it, and it's not something I really have time for right now.  And I know right now everyone is rolling their eyes at me and thinking "No one has time for working out.  You have to MAKE time for it." That's true.  And I REALLY admire the people who do, no joke. But I'm at a point right now where I have three kids at home and I have to MAKE time for things like keeping my house (somewhat) clean and spending time with Brandon and editing pictures that I've already been paid to take. Having a good marriage and a semi-sanitary living space just win out every time.  I could make time for working out if I really wanted to.  It is just very low on my list.

But for the past few months I've been really hard on myself about this.  Let me get one thing straight: I'm not fat.  Not even close.  Most people can't even tell I've gained weight.  I'm 5 months postpartum and have 7 lbs of baby weight still stuck to me. But I have been feeling really awful about myself.  Just look around.  I keep seeing things like this:

And this one is a personal favorite:

Oh, sorry Gwyneth. I didn't realize how hard it is to stay fit when you're rich enough to hire a personal trainer and a nanny and a maid.  I tried doing abs once with Charlie sitting on my stomach, but it must be nothing compared to your daily struggles.

And I kind of wonder why women in general are so hard on themselves about this.  Why does it make me a lazy good-for-nothing if I don't make time to work out?  I would never go to Brandon and say, "You know, I really appreciate that you have 3 kids and a doctorate degree and a successful, full-time job, but would it kill you to work out?"  No.  Because that would make me the whiniest wife in the world.  And he doesn't do that to me, either.  I do it to myself, which is even more ironic, because I am the one who carried and birthed all three kids.

So I decided to stop worrying about it.  I'm still trying to find a good exercise routine and enjoy it and fit that into my life. But I am done feeling bad about how I look and thinking I'm useless if I don't find time to work out every day.  I want to get better at photography.  I want to start painting again.  I want to plan really fun things to do with my family. Those are all more important to me than being skinnier.

Oh, and here's one last meme I especially liked:

You know, the strangest thing happened.  I stopped criticizing myself and to my surprise, there was no sudden onslaught of people complaining about how I look naked.  Weird.