Why Brandon hates cats

Aren't these little faces just adorable? Well, they're nothing but trouble, according to Brandon. He has gone through no less than 50 cats in his life (the big cat has 4-5 kittens in each litter, and she gives birth about every 6 months.) His family manages to give away most of the kittens, but as you will soon see, they have a much worse track record with animals (not just cats) than we do. If you think that every pet's dream is living on a big open farm, you're wrong. They live on 2.5 fenceless acres and most of their pets suffer very violent deaths.

One of his cats and one of his dogs died by "bleeding out their butts." Brandon was supposed to shoot the cat but it got away and ended up dead on their porch a few days later. A few of his dogs either ran away or were run over. One puppy was run over by the lawn mower (luckily it was the tire, not the blade.) Two kittens crawled into the sawdust vaccuum tube and got stuck there. They came sliding out a couple of months later. One kitten had its leg bitten almost off by a dog-- Cameron and Mia had fun picking out the maggots after that happened. Gross. But Brandon's favorite story is about his cousin's puppy Fluffy. It was stupid and liked to chase cars. It got caught under the wheel of a car it was chasing and was tossed up in the air by the motion of the wheel. On its way down it was hit again by an oncoming car.

Any animal lucky enough to escape death then has to face Mia-- at least until they're too old to be cute.

And if Brother thinks that Alice's peeing in his suitcase is bad, imagine having your cat give birth on the foot of your bed. That happened to Cameron a few months ago. Brandon was lucky enough to have the cats give birth under his bed. He also had to rescue a couple of litters out of the attic.

Their cats could be unusually generous, though. One Christmas morning they went outside to find that their cat had killed about 50 mice and placed them ont he floor by the car. Apparently it kept it up for about a week, so they would find a new peace offering every morning. It also used to disembowel mice and neatly line up the entrails on the doorstep.

Don't feel bad, mom. Any of these animals would have loved to stay at our house. With this said, I think I can guess that Brandon and I will never own any cats. He has had a few too many give birth on his watch.