Some of these things are things I heard myself say, just to be clear.
- "BOOM!" (coming from my AC unit, followed by smoke through the house)
- "Brandon, how do you put out an electrical fire?"
- "That isn't covered by the warranty."
- "That needs to be replaced-- I'll have to order a part and come back on Monday."
- "He's booked for Monday. He will come by on Tuesday."
- "The poop won't come, mommy!"
- "You can buy an enema at Walgreens."
- "Ouch! Mom, my bum itches!"
- "It might be pinworms."
- "We should test for Strep."
- "Probably a yeast infection."
- "Do you have any Pinex?" "No, we don't carry it. Nobody ever asks for it." "Well, I never thought I'd ask for it either, but, Surprise!"
- "I need new panties, mom!"
- "Somebody help me. I've turned into white trash."
- "I can't find his other testicle."
- "Do you ever feel around for his balls?" (Of course not, Mom! Who does that?!?!)
Yeah, not my best week. Lots of doctors' visits, very little AC. Thankfully that's all fixed now, and let's pray I NEVER HEAR ANY OF THIS EVER AGAIN.
4 comments:
holy smokes! sounds like one heck of a week. I'm glad you survived. This post has me paranoid about my son's man parts now. Thank you for that.
Dying laughing. It seems we get a post like this every summer.
Just to clarify . . . I'm being quoted out of context.
that sucks. you totally deserve a vacation here!
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