I often wish that I had more of my mom's personality in me. She is the kind of person who, once she starts a task, couldn't dream of not finishing it and if the devil himself came up and tried to stop her, she would just keep going like she didn't even notice. In high school, when we went on long walks together, she used to have to touch the light post in front of our house every time we got back so that the distance would be exact and her walk would be complete. One time my sister and I blocked the post so that she couldn't touch it and it bugged her so much that she stood there fighting us for 5 minutes so that she could touch it. When she broke her elbow, instead of taking a day off to let it heal, she had me ride in the car with her and change the gears for her because she couldn't bend her left arm.
But no, I didn't get any of that resolve. I have an okay time starting creative projects like paintings and sewing projects, but not much luck finishing them. And when it comes to big things like cleaning and organizing, I just get really overwhelmed and take a break and start eating ice cream and cry. I can accomplish some things, but I'm easily distracted and pregnant and tired and have two kids in my face all the time who make it really hard to do anything.
Luckily I have the next best thing to my mom's personality-- my mom, in the flesh, only 45 minutes away. She has been checking on me every Saturday because Saturdays are my least favorite day lately-- they're the day when Brandon is still working on his paper and only leaves the bedroom to eat and I'm stuck in the apartment with nothing to do, because all of my friends are spending time with their own families. And yesterday was especially bad because all of the junk and clutter were beginning to really irritate me but I had no idea where to start.
So my mom arrives, unasked, and gets started helping me clean. She starts putting together boxes before I have even said hello, my dad takes the kids on a bike ride, and she goes through and starts ruthlessly throwing things away. In the couple of hours she was here, we managed to pack 3 boxes, throw away 2 ugly bookshelves that were taking up space, deep clean my kitchen, put away everything else in the living room, and come up with a plan for me to pack the rest of my house. Brandon was even fascinated enough that he ventured out of the room once or twice, if only to make sure we weren't mistreating any of his precious rock collection. My dad came back with 2 days worth of dinners for us so that I don't have to cook and mess up the kitchen again. In fact, I was so energized and motivated by the time she left that I managed to get the kids to sleep by 8:30, finish baby's dress, fold the 3 weeks of laundry piled up, wash our sheets, and proof read Brandon's 28-page paper. And I actually think I can finish the rest of my apartment this week.
My mom is super mom.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Help!
My baby comes in two weeks! Here's a list of things I need to do before then:
Deep clean my apartment
Find a place for her to sleep (Nope, I'm not kidding. Charlie is still in the crib.)
Buy a house (What the heck? How is this going to happen?)
Fold the 3 weeks worth of laundry that is sitting in the laundry basket
Find people to take Violet and Charlie after I have the baby
Here is a list of things I am currently struggling to do:
Feed my family
Stay awake every afternoon
Get to bed at a reasonable hour every night while Brandon works on his thesis till 2 AM in our room
Sweep and load the dishwasher daily
Finish the dress for baby I started making 4 months ago
I have never felt so unprepared and at the same time so eager and excited to see this little girl!
Deep clean my apartment
Find a place for her to sleep (Nope, I'm not kidding. Charlie is still in the crib.)
Buy a house (What the heck? How is this going to happen?)
Fold the 3 weeks worth of laundry that is sitting in the laundry basket
Find people to take Violet and Charlie after I have the baby
Here is a list of things I am currently struggling to do:
Feed my family
Stay awake every afternoon
Get to bed at a reasonable hour every night while Brandon works on his thesis till 2 AM in our room
Sweep and load the dishwasher daily
Finish the dress for baby I started making 4 months ago
I have never felt so unprepared and at the same time so eager and excited to see this little girl!
Wednesday, May 07, 2014
I'm (sort of) back!
Have you missed me?
Yes, my last post was about me having a really, terribly, horrible week. But my lack of posting hasn't been because I've been antisocial and depressed-- it's because my computer broke. So, even to write my last blog post, I had to stay up till 1:30 AM after Brandon went to sleep to write it on his computer, because he uses his all day long to write his thesis.
But I finally complained enough that he bought me a new one! Yes, a nice, fast computer of my very own. So I'm happy to announce that I'm writing this blog post from.... Brandon's computer. No, I haven't actually used my new computer yet. Brandon has been on it all night. You know, that new computer that he bought just for me so that I could have one all to myself. That one.
Life has still been a little rough for me, or at least full of ups and downs. Months ago, when I was just starting to think about getting pregnant again, I thought, "Oh I'll be fine. I have easy pregnancies." I tell that to myself every time. It is a lie. There is no such thing as an easy pregnancy. I keep telling myself that since I don't throw up during my first trimester, my pregnancies are easy but then I forget about the times in my third trimester when I start crying because the fabric I wanted wasn't on sale, or because Violet wouldn't eat what I made her for dinner, or because I gave Brandon a bad haircut. All of these are true stories. Mentally, I just don't have it together. Brandon read something the other day about how comedians are more likely to have mental illnesses like depression. They apparently use humor as a coping device and I said, "That explains why my family loves it when I have a bad week. I do the same thing." (I'm not saying that that is a bad thing. It really does make me feel much better when someone can at least have a little entertainment from my drama.) But, really, I've been all over the place. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I don't want to have anything to do with my life. Although I've learned that if your mom texts you to ask how you're doing, there's no faster way to get her to show up at your house and offer to take you to dinner than to respond by saying that being awake makes you sad. So I guess there are perks to being down in the dumps.
Fortunately for me, my kids (who are normally the biggest source of stress in my life) have been AWESOME. I don't think any 4-year-old has ever been better at being the oldest child than Violet. I have trouble sleeping at night, and usually fall asleep for a couple of hours during the day because I've been feeling a little sick again. When Violet wakes up in the morning, she goes to the bathroom, puts a DVD on for herself, and gets something to eat without waking me up. Then she just sits and plays in the living room. When Charlie wakes up, he doesn't even ask for me. He yells from his crib,"Violet, I'm awake! Get me out!" Then Violet will climb in his crib, boost him up so that he can climb over, and help him get out. She then shares her food with him and plays with him in the living room until I wake up. Violet often has her outfit for the day picked out by the time I wake up. When I finally stumble out of my room, I'm greeted by their smiling faces yelling, "Mommy, you're awake! We're playing Frozen!" (or whatever game Violet has made up for them to play that morning.) Yesterday Brandon was talking about how good they have been and he said, "I used to wonder how little kids could take care of themselves and their siblings when their parents would get drunk and pass out, but I guess now I know, because Violet is pretty good at taking care of herself and Charlie when you can't help them." Yep, apparently when I'm pregnant I'm about as useful as a parent as a raging alcoholic. Good to know.
Okay, just so that I don't look that bad, I'll have you know that I'm still a pretty involved parent. Just one that gets tired so easily that I pass out on my bed for a couple of hours every afternoon. I've been taking the kids to parks almost every afternoon, making dinner every night, and even taking trips to the zoo and the museum. The kids have been having a fun time even if I have had a rough time lately. Their little smiles and laughs, seeing them play with each other, listening to Charlie tell me what new kind of animal he is every day, watching how Violet makes sure that Charlie feels included in everything we do; these are the things that make all the work and emotional struggle worth it. It lets me know that not only will I be okay, but they are going to be the best siblings this new little girl could ask for.
Yes, my last post was about me having a really, terribly, horrible week. But my lack of posting hasn't been because I've been antisocial and depressed-- it's because my computer broke. So, even to write my last blog post, I had to stay up till 1:30 AM after Brandon went to sleep to write it on his computer, because he uses his all day long to write his thesis.
But I finally complained enough that he bought me a new one! Yes, a nice, fast computer of my very own. So I'm happy to announce that I'm writing this blog post from.... Brandon's computer. No, I haven't actually used my new computer yet. Brandon has been on it all night. You know, that new computer that he bought just for me so that I could have one all to myself. That one.
Life has still been a little rough for me, or at least full of ups and downs. Months ago, when I was just starting to think about getting pregnant again, I thought, "Oh I'll be fine. I have easy pregnancies." I tell that to myself every time. It is a lie. There is no such thing as an easy pregnancy. I keep telling myself that since I don't throw up during my first trimester, my pregnancies are easy but then I forget about the times in my third trimester when I start crying because the fabric I wanted wasn't on sale, or because Violet wouldn't eat what I made her for dinner, or because I gave Brandon a bad haircut. All of these are true stories. Mentally, I just don't have it together. Brandon read something the other day about how comedians are more likely to have mental illnesses like depression. They apparently use humor as a coping device and I said, "That explains why my family loves it when I have a bad week. I do the same thing." (I'm not saying that that is a bad thing. It really does make me feel much better when someone can at least have a little entertainment from my drama.) But, really, I've been all over the place. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I don't want to have anything to do with my life. Although I've learned that if your mom texts you to ask how you're doing, there's no faster way to get her to show up at your house and offer to take you to dinner than to respond by saying that being awake makes you sad. So I guess there are perks to being down in the dumps.
Fortunately for me, my kids (who are normally the biggest source of stress in my life) have been AWESOME. I don't think any 4-year-old has ever been better at being the oldest child than Violet. I have trouble sleeping at night, and usually fall asleep for a couple of hours during the day because I've been feeling a little sick again. When Violet wakes up in the morning, she goes to the bathroom, puts a DVD on for herself, and gets something to eat without waking me up. Then she just sits and plays in the living room. When Charlie wakes up, he doesn't even ask for me. He yells from his crib,"Violet, I'm awake! Get me out!" Then Violet will climb in his crib, boost him up so that he can climb over, and help him get out. She then shares her food with him and plays with him in the living room until I wake up. Violet often has her outfit for the day picked out by the time I wake up. When I finally stumble out of my room, I'm greeted by their smiling faces yelling, "Mommy, you're awake! We're playing Frozen!" (or whatever game Violet has made up for them to play that morning.) Yesterday Brandon was talking about how good they have been and he said, "I used to wonder how little kids could take care of themselves and their siblings when their parents would get drunk and pass out, but I guess now I know, because Violet is pretty good at taking care of herself and Charlie when you can't help them." Yep, apparently when I'm pregnant I'm about as useful as a parent as a raging alcoholic. Good to know.
Okay, just so that I don't look that bad, I'll have you know that I'm still a pretty involved parent. Just one that gets tired so easily that I pass out on my bed for a couple of hours every afternoon. I've been taking the kids to parks almost every afternoon, making dinner every night, and even taking trips to the zoo and the museum. The kids have been having a fun time even if I have had a rough time lately. Their little smiles and laughs, seeing them play with each other, listening to Charlie tell me what new kind of animal he is every day, watching how Violet makes sure that Charlie feels included in everything we do; these are the things that make all the work and emotional struggle worth it. It lets me know that not only will I be okay, but they are going to be the best siblings this new little girl could ask for.
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