The languages of love. Ew, did I really just say that?

Last weekend my stake put on a lovely conference for women.  At this event were some classes that you could choose to attend, among which was a panel of married couples answering questions about marriage for the rest of us.  The class was called Hearts knit together in love.  The title itself almost made me vomit, but I really wanted to sit by my friends, so I followed them there.  I'm really spiritual like that.  Before it started though, I leaned over and warned my friend, "if I hear the words 'and that's why we've never had an argument,' I'm walking out."  But only after I go up and do this:

But luckily it never came to that.  One thing they did talk about though, that almost made me walk out, were the "languages of love."  It's one of the most cliche and cheesy discussion topics, but the general idea behind the "languages of love" theory is that we all give love in different ways, and to be happy in our marriage, we need to recognize and respect that.  Which is actually true, I just can't get behind anything that has a name that cheesy.

 

It did get me thinking about Brandon.  As you may have noticed, he's not a traditional romantic guy (lots of flattery and big gifts).  And that's one of the things I love most about him.  Even though he doesn't go shopping for diamonds every time he thinks about me, he manages to do things for me that only he would think to do.  Make a necklace for me out of a piece of rock he found? Yes. Stay up till 2 AM the day before I get back from Mexico to steal 2 dozen roses for me from random people's bushes in Provo? Yes.  Reupholster a chair that he found on the side of the road in a pretty fabric that matches our bedspread? Yes. 

 

But one of the things that took me ahwile to get used to was the fact that he rarely gives compliments.  Back in the dating world, I was hot stuff.  Or at least I thought I was, because the guys I dated told me so.  When I met Brandon, I felt kind of like Ron Burgundy:



And then the first compliment that Brandon gives me is that I have nice ears.  I specifically remember this.  And I thought, Man, this guy's a keeper.  Just kidding. I thought he was weird (albeit in a cute way).  But after awhile, it stopped bothering me.  Because I remembered how the other guys I had dated had always said such nice things about me, and then never wanted to actually spend time with me.  Which made me even more mad, because I felt like I was being lied to.  Honestly, if you think I'm so great, why can't you call me on Friday night?  But Brandon was always there, no matter how early he had to get up the next morning, or how wishy-washy I was being.  So I married him.

 

Now and then my vain self will creep out and want to be complimented more, especially when it comes to art projects. Everyone through my entire life has always thought of me as this amazing artist.  And Brandon, well, he's actually better than I am at art.  He gives me suggestions on how to do things and I react about as well as a spitting cobra.  But it's at times like these when I need to remember again that actions speak louder than words.  When I told him about my photo blog I want to start, he immediately started sifting through blog templates to see what would best suit my needs.  He advised me to get one that doesn't have the blogspot on the url because it would seem more professional.  He talked to me about how it could evolve through time, how I could connect it to a website with a portfolio and pricing, and how I could market myself. Basically he has ideas of me being this amazing photographer with a professional portfolio, and here I was thinking that I just wanted to start a blog for fun.  I don't think I need flowery compliments to appreciate how he sees me.  That's love.

 

PS- I really hope you enjoyed Buddy the Elf.