The value of common interests

When I was a newlywed, Brandon and I started getting into taking pictures of all the places we've been.  When I showed my dad some of the pictures, he told me that a common interest is the basis of a long and happy marriage.  I thought he was joking.  It seemed too simple to be actual advice.

Well, it's been 4 years and it turns out that my dad was right.  It's easy being a newlywed.  Brandon and I were both full-time students working part-time jobs.  We took a few classes together, and even if we didn't do everything together, we had no kids to interrupt our time with each other. 

Fast forward to the present-- our days don't exactly have much in common.  Brandon goes to school, studying things that most people can't pronounce, let alone understand.  I go entire days without talking to anyone over the age of 2.  He goes on snorkeling trips to Australia and Belize and calls it "work." If I could go 24 hours without dealing with someone else's bowel movements, I would call it a vacation.  I get together with friends several times a week.  His social life involves talking with his professor about research projects over lunch.  After work, he would love nothing more than to relax at home.  After being with the kids all day, I would love nothing more than to leave the house and drown my stress in sugary liquid calories from Sonic.

So while there is nothing I would really change about my life, Brandon and I do need things to bond over.  So we bought a brand new camera, because we both love photography. Yes, it cost alot.  No, I don't feel bad about it.  At first I was feeling guilty because we also have to buy tickets to Utah and it looks like I may go to Belize with Brandon in November.  Then I realized that Brandon works and we are not in debt and I don't have to justify to anyone how we spend our money.

And belive me, this camera is worth every penny.

Spoiled

I sure got a lot out of Brandon's trip to Australia.  I already posted about how I get spendy when I'm alone.  Well, aside from spoiling myself, Brandon also spoiled me by getting me some nice Australian opals and tons of candy bars.  I couldn't stop looking at the opals and eating the candy bars.  We also ordered our nice new camera, which is coming next week. In fact, I felt a little undeserving and put myself on a budget-- I'm not allowed to buy clothes or eat out for the next 2 months.  Of course, Brandon didn't care that I spent money on myself when he was gone because he thought I looked nice in my hot pink skirt.  And let's face it, taking care of my kids is not an easy job.

How my biggest fear confronted me

Do you know what my biggest worry was about Brandon going to Australia?  It wasn't that he would die in a plane crash, or that someone would break into our house while I was alone with the kids.  It was that I would have to deal with a cockroach all by myself.  Unfortunately, this fear came true today-- the day before he gets back.

Cockroaches are my biggest fear. You're probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "Duh, everyone is afraid of cockroaches."  True, but not everyone has involuntary, irrational, hysterical reactions to seeing them.  I've lived in Houston for a total of 12 years and have still never gotten up the courage to kill one.  The closest I've come to "dealing with one" was trapping it under a shoe box and hiding in the other room until Brandon got home.  When I was pregnant with Charlie, I found a dead one in my shower and upon seeing it, jumped out of the shower onto the toilet seat and screamed until Brandon came to flush it down the drain.  I'm quite certain that standing wet on a slippery toilet seat while 7 months pregnant was a far greater risk to my safety than standing in the shower with a dead cockroach.  And I'm pretty sure that seeing me 7 months pregnant, standing butt naked on top of a toilet was far scarier to Brandon than the cockroach was.

But like I said, this is not a rational fear. 

And earlier today I glanced over and witnessed a giant cockroach crawl into my purse.  Yes, the very same purse where I keep my keys and wallet.  I consider it a great credit to my self-control that I did not shout every expletive that I know right then.  I mustered up some courage and threw a pillow at my purse to see if that would scare it out.  Nothing happened, so after 5 minutes of having an elevated pulse, goosebumps, and sweating (you think I'm kidding, but I'm serious) I moved the pillow and found the cockroach under it.  This would have been the perfect opportunity to kill it since it was no longer in my purse, but my involuntary reaction got the best of me and I just screamed and ran. When I had calmed down enough to re-enter the room, I realized that it had gone back into my purse.  Armed with a broom handle, I climbed on top of a lounge chair and planned to poke my purse until it crawled out. But I just couldn't do it.  I was a queasy, sweaty mess so I did what I normally do when I experience trauma: I called my sister. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I just saw a giant roach crawl into my purse and I don't know what to do.
Carrie: Gross!  Just dump everything out and kill it.
me: I can't. I'm scared of cockroaches.
Carrie:  I know they're scary, but you just have to do it.  You'll feel so much better after you kill it.
me: No, seriously, I -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
(At this moment I had just witnessed the cockroach crawl out of my purse and over to the kitchen.  I screamed for a full 5 seconds, ran to the other end of the room, and started sobbing.  It scared Violet so much that she sunk into the couch, covered her face, and began to cry.)
Carrie: Are you okay?!?!
Me, still sobbing: NOOO!
Carrie: What did it do? Did you get it? Was it crawling on you?
Me: No, it just ran out of my purse.  Which was exactly what I wanted it to do, it just scared me.
Carrie: So it didn't even run towards you, and you still screamed like that?
Me, in tears: YES!
(Now Carrie is laughing hysterically)
Me: I'm going to Mom's house.

And that's the kind of fear it is.  I bet you've never seen a grown woman cry because she saw a cockroach.  But now you've at least heard of one.

Running wild.

Let me just get this out there: I cannot be expected to be a responsible adult when Brandon leaves. 

I develop a sense of entitlement when I'm left with the kids. There's nothing like being left alone with your own offspring (knowing that your husband is touring the Australian rain forest for free) to convince you that you deserve a $1200 camera.  And boy, do I want a $1200 camera.

And when I spend every waking moment with my kids, I get impulsive.  Doing nothing but taking care of babies makes me feel boring.  I hate feeling boring, so I want to do something fun to prove that I'm not boring. And to me, fun usually equals dumb.

Which equates to a Lindsey who is spendy and impulsive.  So I went and bought a hot pink skirt, got 3 new shades of nail polish, numerous new cosmetics that no one cares about, and I'm eating my weight in ice cream every night.  I gave myself lowlights in a shade of brown that looks an awful lot like black.  It walks a fine line between edgy and trashy, but I'm not even upset about it, because part of me would rather look like white trash than look like a housewife.  And I'm still planning to buy a $1200 camera.

Wait, who said this was a bad idea?  That's right, NO ONE.  Because there's no one here to talk me out of it.

My, this has been a fun two weeks!

Pinterest: worst offenses

Please don't take this list too seriously-- I'm simply amused by these trends.  I am posting this knowing well that many of my good friends (and probably myself) are guilty of some of these.  Post what you want.  I won't think less of you, but I reserve the right to laugh.

-Being pinned 14,000 times does not mean a recipe is great.  The last person who actually tried the recipe was probably pinner #1.
- If a recipe has only two ingredients, it probably doesn't taste very good.
- Cakes were never meant to be made in a mug.
- Cakes were never meant to be baked in a microwave. Which brings us to....
- Cakes were absolutely never meant to be baked in a mug, in a microwave. 
- If it contains whipped cream, can you really call it a salad?
- Fruit doesn't need dip. (That's just my opinion.)
- Not everything can be made in a crock pot.
- Ryan Gosling would probably never say what you just pretended he said.
- Ryan Gosling is not your significant other.  (Sorry.)
- Buying mason jars so that you can make crafts with them is not upcycling.
- If you can buy something for less than a dollar, it's probably not worth your time to make it yourself.
- Not all gifts fit in a jar.
- A gift involving a pun and a candy bar is probably not what your husband wants for his birthday.  Or maybe it is.  But I'm pretty sure it's not what Brandon would want.
- Homemade candy bars: what? Isn't the beauty of a candy bar that you only have to buy one? Who is going to eat a whole batch of candy bars? And who wants to spend the time making them?
- Greek yogurt can't be used as a substitute for everything.
- Painting upholstered furniture is never a good idea.
- Please stop calling every recipe "better than sex."  People will start to get the wrong idea about your marriage.
- Keep Calm and Whatever you put after that doesn't make sense.
And finally,
- You'll never be able to afford that. (Neither will I.  But a girl can dream...)

That's all I can think of for now.  Now that I've put all that out in the open... do you have anything to add?