I have a problem with motivation (and attitude).

Can I just say that I really don't care about my job? Yeah, it's pretty bad. I don't mind going there every Tuesday and Thursday and kissing some butt. At least I can forget about it when I go home. But staff meetings kill me. Let's all take time out of their schedule to go find a room which is (believe me) very elusive and listen to a lecture about how we need to be a better team and make our ice cream scoops more uniform. And don't you dare miss a meeting, because that will get you a frowny-face sticker on your behavior chart. I'll tell you where you can put my behavior chart. Let's face it, this job isn't getting us anywhere. It's getting me through college, and besides the money and maybe the work experience that I can put on my resumee, I couldn't care less. I'm not opposed to working patheic jobs, my dad has instilled in my head from since I can remember that it's part of life. I'll do it, just don't expect me to do it with a smile. No wonder our managers aren't too fond of me. Man, I really need to find a job I like.

The random purchase of the day is...

Ice skates. Yeah, I know, I'm from Texas. I am horrible at ice skating. I've only gone once since I've been up here in Utah, but they were $3 at DI, and they were SO pretty. And one of these days I'm going to go back and get those $5 skis that I saw, too.
Other than that, my weekend has been a blast. I played a riveting game of ping-pong with the wall, had EasyMac for lunch, and have biked several miles thanks to living just off Center Street.

Where would we be without good samaritans?

Last night was NOT my night. My friends invited me to go hike to the Y with them, and since I had never done it before, I went (in flip-flops, but that shouldn't surprise anyone). We had to pile about 8 people in a little Toyota Camry, so I sat on my friend ReNae's lap. I had my hand grabbing the roof of the car when she slammed the door shut. Ouch. I screamed. But it wasn't that bad, I just had indentions in my hand and couldn't bend my fingers for a few minutes. So we got to the Y after a really un-pretty hike and I took some pictures, then we hiked back down. As I was getting in the car this time, Ruth (the driver) starts driving off when only half my body is in the car. So I screamed again and had to run and jump in. When we got back, however, I realized that my apartment keys weren't in my camera bag anymore. I had left them at the top of the mountain, a steep, 2-mile hike which I had already done once that night and did NOT feel like doing again. So ReNae, feeling really badly for mangling my hand, let me eat her food, sleep in her bed using her blanket, and borrow her shorts and some shoes for work. I got up at 8:45 this morning (which, if you've never been a college freshman, is REALLY EARLY) to hike the mountain AGAIN. Luckily, about 1/3 the way up the mountain, some very extroverted man was asking people if someone had lost their keys. I don't think I've ever expressed so much gratitude to a complete stranger. So all is well, although my bruised knuckles made it hard to scoop ice cream at work today. Thank you, loud stranger, and thank you, Indian friend. But I still hate Y mountain.

My friend Matt should have a blog

But he is on a mission in Thailand. So I took it upon myself to post the funny stories he sends me in each letter.
"We saw this man wandering around in the middle of the other lane. When he saw us, he stopped, his eyes got REAL big, and he lifted one arm straight above his head and yelled at the top of his retarded boy lungs at us. He didn't say anything, just yelled... pretty much like a sandman from Star Wars. My companion looked at me like, 'What the crap was that?' I, myself, was laughing SO hard."
(Talking about an investigator) "He was explaining how important it is to be diligent and work hard. He then went on to tell us how many of the people who work in the rice fields are so diligent that 'they piss as they walk.' I have to agree with him, THAT is diligence."
"You want to know something funny? Someone told me I have a beautiful nose."
(after he sprained his ankle) "Me and my companion make fun of it all the time because it's so ugly. We also like to call it a hobbit foot."
"Today I saw an elephant walking down the street with tail lights. Seriously, the owner had tied lights to its tail."

And he is the only missionary I've ever known to use the words "piss" and "crap."

Unpossible? I think not.

My friendMatt once told me that it is impossible to swallow a teaspoon of cinnamon. He had heard that it was, told his brother and friend, who both tried it and gagged and miserably failed. Last night I dared all my friends to do it. Only the guys would, but it was still hilarious. It made two guys cry, one of which was coughing for 15 minutes and at one point even threw up. I decided to try it, beacuse I felt pretty badly for inflicting so much pain upon them and desacrating their manliness. But I actually did it. Yeah, it burned, and It might rival ant eggs as the nastiest thing I've ever eaten, but I swallowed it. That's right boys, spitters are quitters.

Fun at BYU

Last night we went to the Brigham County fair, which is no more than a bunch of booths set up by freshman wards, easily rivaled by Deerfield's Trunk or Treat. If that doesn't sound like fun, let me reassure you that there was a pudding feed contest in which Javi got to shove pudding down my throat, and a bellyflop contest, which he almost won, despite weighing only about 130 lbs. If chugging gooey stuff and seeing how hard you can smack the water doesn't qualify as fun, I don't know what does.
We also went to a Polynesian Cultural dance, because I figured he looks asian enough to get away with it. But don't call Javi a Pacific islander, because according to him, the Philippines "aren't really islands, they're like a continent, right?" Coconut macaroons and a limbo contest were the high points, so I guess I'm glad I went, because who doesn't love coconut macaroons?

Some things NOT to use in a textbook

1. "hitting the French up for a loan"-I have only heard the phrase "hitting up" used by hormone-driven teenagers in referral to money or action.
2. "at loggerheads"-Seriously, who uses that?
3. Exclamation ponits!!!
4. The word "polity"... every other sentence. Sorry, it doesn't make you sound smarter.
5. Capitalized labels for ALL your personal ideas, questions, and theories. Really, nobody cares if you think the Republican Problem is part of the Human Predicament and that Progress is the Solution. My Views and Ideas are very different from yours, but I don't capitalize all my Opinions, do I?

That was a long four days

It's okay, everyone, Ashley is back. Without any injuries. And when I saw her for the first time in four days, she jumped on me and screamed "LET'S NEVER BE APART!!!" Okay. Let's never. But when you graduate in December and leave me to make my own friends and find my own roommates, just remember who broke our pact.

I'd like to thank Xavier for keeping me busy while Ashley was gone. Some of the entertainment I received from him was watching him light his hand on fire (at least 5 times) with hand sanitizer, watching him light his hair on fire in hopes that he would start a cool new trend in hair fads, watching him spit over 20 feet in distance (really, he is rather talented), letting him eat my food every night, and hearing him tell me that he doesn't want other people to know what he does, because apparently he doesn't want people to think he's the kind of guy who does this for fun. He's a closet pyro. (when I called him that, he replied, "No way. I would never do something like that in a closet.")

And I would like to give a warm shout-out to my beautiful friend Emily, who has the unparalleled talent of making me giggle like a 12-year-old. Here's to the good times, Emms.
FLP!!!