The value of common interests

When I was a newlywed, Brandon and I started getting into taking pictures of all the places we've been.  When I showed my dad some of the pictures, he told me that a common interest is the basis of a long and happy marriage.  I thought he was joking.  It seemed too simple to be actual advice.

Well, it's been 4 years and it turns out that my dad was right.  It's easy being a newlywed.  Brandon and I were both full-time students working part-time jobs.  We took a few classes together, and even if we didn't do everything together, we had no kids to interrupt our time with each other. 

Fast forward to the present-- our days don't exactly have much in common.  Brandon goes to school, studying things that most people can't pronounce, let alone understand.  I go entire days without talking to anyone over the age of 2.  He goes on snorkeling trips to Australia and Belize and calls it "work." If I could go 24 hours without dealing with someone else's bowel movements, I would call it a vacation.  I get together with friends several times a week.  His social life involves talking with his professor about research projects over lunch.  After work, he would love nothing more than to relax at home.  After being with the kids all day, I would love nothing more than to leave the house and drown my stress in sugary liquid calories from Sonic.

So while there is nothing I would really change about my life, Brandon and I do need things to bond over.  So we bought a brand new camera, because we both love photography. Yes, it cost alot.  No, I don't feel bad about it.  At first I was feeling guilty because we also have to buy tickets to Utah and it looks like I may go to Belize with Brandon in November.  Then I realized that Brandon works and we are not in debt and I don't have to justify to anyone how we spend our money.

And belive me, this camera is worth every penny.

Spoiled

I sure got a lot out of Brandon's trip to Australia.  I already posted about how I get spendy when I'm alone.  Well, aside from spoiling myself, Brandon also spoiled me by getting me some nice Australian opals and tons of candy bars.  I couldn't stop looking at the opals and eating the candy bars.  We also ordered our nice new camera, which is coming next week. In fact, I felt a little undeserving and put myself on a budget-- I'm not allowed to buy clothes or eat out for the next 2 months.  Of course, Brandon didn't care that I spent money on myself when he was gone because he thought I looked nice in my hot pink skirt.  And let's face it, taking care of my kids is not an easy job.

How my biggest fear confronted me

Do you know what my biggest worry was about Brandon going to Australia?  It wasn't that he would die in a plane crash, or that someone would break into our house while I was alone with the kids.  It was that I would have to deal with a cockroach all by myself.  Unfortunately, this fear came true today-- the day before he gets back.

Cockroaches are my biggest fear. You're probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "Duh, everyone is afraid of cockroaches."  True, but not everyone has involuntary, irrational, hysterical reactions to seeing them.  I've lived in Houston for a total of 12 years and have still never gotten up the courage to kill one.  The closest I've come to "dealing with one" was trapping it under a shoe box and hiding in the other room until Brandon got home.  When I was pregnant with Charlie, I found a dead one in my shower and upon seeing it, jumped out of the shower onto the toilet seat and screamed until Brandon came to flush it down the drain.  I'm quite certain that standing wet on a slippery toilet seat while 7 months pregnant was a far greater risk to my safety than standing in the shower with a dead cockroach.  And I'm pretty sure that seeing me 7 months pregnant, standing butt naked on top of a toilet was far scarier to Brandon than the cockroach was.

But like I said, this is not a rational fear. 

And earlier today I glanced over and witnessed a giant cockroach crawl into my purse.  Yes, the very same purse where I keep my keys and wallet.  I consider it a great credit to my self-control that I did not shout every expletive that I know right then.  I mustered up some courage and threw a pillow at my purse to see if that would scare it out.  Nothing happened, so after 5 minutes of having an elevated pulse, goosebumps, and sweating (you think I'm kidding, but I'm serious) I moved the pillow and found the cockroach under it.  This would have been the perfect opportunity to kill it since it was no longer in my purse, but my involuntary reaction got the best of me and I just screamed and ran. When I had calmed down enough to re-enter the room, I realized that it had gone back into my purse.  Armed with a broom handle, I climbed on top of a lounge chair and planned to poke my purse until it crawled out. But I just couldn't do it.  I was a queasy, sweaty mess so I did what I normally do when I experience trauma: I called my sister. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I just saw a giant roach crawl into my purse and I don't know what to do.
Carrie: Gross!  Just dump everything out and kill it.
me: I can't. I'm scared of cockroaches.
Carrie:  I know they're scary, but you just have to do it.  You'll feel so much better after you kill it.
me: No, seriously, I -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
(At this moment I had just witnessed the cockroach crawl out of my purse and over to the kitchen.  I screamed for a full 5 seconds, ran to the other end of the room, and started sobbing.  It scared Violet so much that she sunk into the couch, covered her face, and began to cry.)
Carrie: Are you okay?!?!
Me, still sobbing: NOOO!
Carrie: What did it do? Did you get it? Was it crawling on you?
Me: No, it just ran out of my purse.  Which was exactly what I wanted it to do, it just scared me.
Carrie: So it didn't even run towards you, and you still screamed like that?
Me, in tears: YES!
(Now Carrie is laughing hysterically)
Me: I'm going to Mom's house.

And that's the kind of fear it is.  I bet you've never seen a grown woman cry because she saw a cockroach.  But now you've at least heard of one.

Running wild.

Let me just get this out there: I cannot be expected to be a responsible adult when Brandon leaves. 

I develop a sense of entitlement when I'm left with the kids. There's nothing like being left alone with your own offspring (knowing that your husband is touring the Australian rain forest for free) to convince you that you deserve a $1200 camera.  And boy, do I want a $1200 camera.

And when I spend every waking moment with my kids, I get impulsive.  Doing nothing but taking care of babies makes me feel boring.  I hate feeling boring, so I want to do something fun to prove that I'm not boring. And to me, fun usually equals dumb.

Which equates to a Lindsey who is spendy and impulsive.  So I went and bought a hot pink skirt, got 3 new shades of nail polish, numerous new cosmetics that no one cares about, and I'm eating my weight in ice cream every night.  I gave myself lowlights in a shade of brown that looks an awful lot like black.  It walks a fine line between edgy and trashy, but I'm not even upset about it, because part of me would rather look like white trash than look like a housewife.  And I'm still planning to buy a $1200 camera.

Wait, who said this was a bad idea?  That's right, NO ONE.  Because there's no one here to talk me out of it.

My, this has been a fun two weeks!

Pinterest: worst offenses

Please don't take this list too seriously-- I'm simply amused by these trends.  I am posting this knowing well that many of my good friends (and probably myself) are guilty of some of these.  Post what you want.  I won't think less of you, but I reserve the right to laugh.

-Being pinned 14,000 times does not mean a recipe is great.  The last person who actually tried the recipe was probably pinner #1.
- If a recipe has only two ingredients, it probably doesn't taste very good.
- Cakes were never meant to be made in a mug.
- Cakes were never meant to be baked in a microwave. Which brings us to....
- Cakes were absolutely never meant to be baked in a mug, in a microwave. 
- If it contains whipped cream, can you really call it a salad?
- Fruit doesn't need dip. (That's just my opinion.)
- Not everything can be made in a crock pot.
- Ryan Gosling would probably never say what you just pretended he said.
- Ryan Gosling is not your significant other.  (Sorry.)
- Buying mason jars so that you can make crafts with them is not upcycling.
- If you can buy something for less than a dollar, it's probably not worth your time to make it yourself.
- Not all gifts fit in a jar.
- A gift involving a pun and a candy bar is probably not what your husband wants for his birthday.  Or maybe it is.  But I'm pretty sure it's not what Brandon would want.
- Homemade candy bars: what? Isn't the beauty of a candy bar that you only have to buy one? Who is going to eat a whole batch of candy bars? And who wants to spend the time making them?
- Greek yogurt can't be used as a substitute for everything.
- Painting upholstered furniture is never a good idea.
- Please stop calling every recipe "better than sex."  People will start to get the wrong idea about your marriage.
- Keep Calm and Whatever you put after that doesn't make sense.
And finally,
- You'll never be able to afford that. (Neither will I.  But a girl can dream...)

That's all I can think of for now.  Now that I've put all that out in the open... do you have anything to add?

Wanderlust

I'm not sure how anyone is expected to be sane and productive when they are left with 2 kids and no car.  This is my third day this week under those circumstances and by one of heaven's tender mercies, both kids took naps today.  While that helps with my sanity, it doesn't do much for my boredom.  And when I'm bored I get nostalgic and edit old pictures.  Enjoy.

Canyonlands National Park



Canyonlands National Park

Capitol Reef National Park

Popocatepetl, Mexico

Cathedral, Valle del Bravo, Mexico

Settling into summer

It's been awhile, hasn't it?  There hasn't been much time for blogging because lately it seems that all we do is move.  We moved into our new apartment a month ago and love it, but now Brandon is working and we are staying in corporate housing out by where he works.  Only during the week, though.  On weekends we move back out to our normal apartment.  No, there is nothing normal about this arrangement.  But we are enjoying both places, so it works.  Sort of.

 In other news, Charlie continues to grow and he is now quite good at sitting by himself.  He enjoys blowing bubble beards and wearing them around. 

 And Violet can't get enough of our pool out at corporate housing.  Neither can I.  It has a 6"-deep lounge area, plenty of swimming space, a splash pad, a fountain that you can climb in, and a hot tub. Violet's favorite part is the splash pad, which I love because it's shallow enough that I don't have to follow her around constantly.  I can focus on getting cute, funny pictures of her.

Summer is a beautiful thing.

Now that I've showed a bunch of pictures of our awesome pool, who wants to come visit me?  Because as fun as this pool is, I don't know anyone out here, and it gets pretty boring.  So come visit.  I don't even care if you just use me for my pool. 

Enchanted Rock

After our day at Sea World we headed to Enchanted Rock to camp (after a quick stop at my favorite Greek restaurant in San Antonio, of course).  We set up camp and just when I thought Violet would never stop jumping on our air mattress both of our kids fell asleep, and it was glorious.  My kids sleep better in tents than they do in their own beds.  The reason bedtime was so exciting was that Brandon and I had plans to stay up late and take pictures of the milky way.  Instead we fell asleep immediately but my alarm clock (Charlie) got us up in the middle of the night and we were able to do it then.  I would start to describe how cool it was but I'll just let the pictures do that.

More on Brandon's blog.  He took much better pictures than I did.  I wasn't willing to hike up rocks in the dark like he was to get a good shot.

In the morning, we started up the trail to the summit.  I had to carry chunky Charlie the entire way but it was cool, windy, and perfect. On the way I got a taste of what it must have been like to have me as a kid.  My mom always tells me that she feared that I wouldn't survive to maturity because I loved doing dangerous things and well... Violet isn't any different.  I would stop and talk to Brandon for 30 seconds and when we turned around she would be fifty yards away climbing over boulders.  I don't know how that girl gets so far so quickly.

Charlie was pretty heavy to carry up to the top, but at least I didn't have to carry Violet half the way up.

Between spurts of "Mommy, come see this!" Violet got some geology lessons from Brandon and by the end of the hike was pointing out, "Look, quartz!  Look, feldspar!"

Fellow geologists.

Before leaving we strolled over to a little creek where within 30 seconds Violet had taken her pants and shoes off and was stomping through it.

So happy to have eaten.

Violet, getting naked in the stream.

It was a long drive back but punctuated by a brief stop at Cooper's Barbecue in Llano.  Any place that sells meat, by the pound, on butcher paper, dunked in barbecue sauce, from a giant pit, to swarms of people driving Harley Davidsons is bound to be a good restaurant.

Sea World

Who else is tired of me complaining about my life? Time for a good post.  We made a poorly planned trip to Sea World this week.  Fortunately, it turns out that it doesn't take a lot of planning to go to Sea World and we had a lovely time.  The first attraction was the orca show.  Here's some advice: if you have a 2-year-old and a 5-month old, you probably shouldn't sit in the splash zone.  Violet was a little scared by the size of the whales but was captivated by their performance until they splashed water on us all.  Both our kids started screaming and crying.

They got over it.

Then I lost Violet when I looked away for 15 seconds while putting on sunscreen, and found her  surrounded by a group of women who were asking where her mommy was. She had been asking me to go see the flamingos and when I paused to protect my white hide from skin cancer she decided to go with or without me.

Dumb flamingos.

The next stop was a giant splash pad.  At first Violet didn't want to get wet, and I thought, "Great, I just paid $100 so that my kid could scream through the shows and not play in the water."  Luckily she wasn't a pansy the entire time and did end up running and splashing through the water like the wild animal that she normally is. 

See what I mean by wild animal?

We had two more shows; one with sea lions and a walrus and one with a beluga.  The Sea Lion show was clearly her favorite as she kept squealing and laughing each time they did a trick. 

Enthralled.

It just won't stop.

We finally escaped our old apartment.  After two burst pipes, flooded bedrooms, moldy carpet, and a few unexplained power outages, we had had enough.  I found a new apartment (with a garage) that we moved into.  I absolutely love it.  Brandon and I spent last night unpacking all of our things, and it already looks cute.

We also had some severe thunderstorms last night.  And after unpacking, I walked into Violet's room to find water dripping from her ceiling.  Followed by water coming through our chimney.  Then a puddle surrounding our fireplace, water under the floor in the master bedroom, and a puddle in Violet's closet.  Another night of staying up till 3 AM soaking up water with towels.

We have been living here for a total of two days.

And right now Brandon is out in our garage taking out our car battery that has died four times in the past week.  This time, our car is in the garage and not close enough to another car to jump start it.  So we now somehow have to get a new battery without a car to go to the auto shop.

*

The wedding day

Now for the most exciting part of the month which everyone else has already blogged about: Ashley's wedding.  Brandon got home from France the night before and after picking him up from the airport and driving all the way to our apartment, I realized that I had left my keys in Katy and we all had to drive back to get them.  Of course that would happen to me.  And the next morning we were back in Katy again, getting ready for the festivities.  The morning started out with getting our hair done (no that's not my hair, it's my 6-year-old neice who has the hair of an adult):

Having a nutritious breakfast:

Getting makeup done:

And basically just laying around, being good-looking.

 We later headed off to Vargo's for the wedding.  The flower girls all looked beautiful in their dresses.

 The venue was charming.  One of the best things about it was that there were peacocks wandering around everywhere. It of course was fascinating for the little kids and this one developed quite a following.

 Finally the most important moment of the day arrived and Ashley and Landon were married.  I'm not usually the emotional type but I almost bawled.  Luckily I was wearing a ton of makeup and I didn't want my face to melt off, so I held it back.  And being the great photographers we are, we got zero pictures of the bride and groom.  But I'm sure Ashley's photographer did a great job, so we probably won't be lacking.  After the ceremony we went to Pappasitos where Violet practically took a shower in queso.  Best wedding food ever.

Where do I begin?

So much excitement has happened since I last posted that everything in this post is going to be grossly oversimplified.  Oh well.  The Funks came and stayed at my parents' house last week and since I was already staying there, I got to be with them the whole time. Violet was in all her glory having so many cousins to play with.  The Easter bunny brought her some sidewalk chalk, which she applied liberally to her face.

Of course we had to go to 99 cent waffle cone Wednesday while they were here.  Caroline ate hers faster than I ate mine.  That girl can eat. Here she is with a little chocolate still on her face.

 Violet took her sweet time, as usual. At least this time she got strawberry instead of nasty Superman flavor.

 Charlie enjoyed his view from the car seat.  He actually started smiling and laughing when I asked if he wanted some ice cream.  Time to start solids?

 Violet and Graham were two of a kind.  Here they are all bundled up after having a blast at the splash pad.

 Graham was the most intense thing I had ever seen there.  He really got into hitting the water.

Here is Violet with her adopted siblings.

Those kids made me laugh a lot while they were around.  The first night that Violet stayed in the same room as they did (she had never had a sleepover before) she apparently was making too much noise and got kicked out of the room by Graham.  He dragged her in to his parents' room, pointed to her, and said, "Her not sleep. I go bed."  He got used to her, though, the next night when he was going to bed he kept asking for "my Violet" while she was downstairs getting water.

Caroline was hilarious, too.  One night I was in my pajamas and I grabbed my keys, so Caroline asked where I was going. When I told her I was going to the store, she asked, "In those clothes?"  I laughed out loud and soon my sister made her apologize and tell me how nice I looked. 

And Devin made me laugh because he is SO much like my sister was when she was little.  You can't help but love that kid.

I miss them already!

Mental instability

Brandon is gone again. I declined his invitation to go to France with him. Leaving my 2-year-old, travelling internationally with an infant, and being in a hotel all day while he worked in the lab didn't seem worth a $750 ticket, even if it was to France.

Unfortunately, this means that I'm stuck here without him for two weeks. Even with parents just 45 minutes away, things get pretty hairy when he's gone. I got sick the day he left. Aside from the physical discomfort and exhaustion, I'm pretty sure I operate on the mental capacity of a senile ape when I'm sick. As a result, when we went to my parents' house for the weekend, I forgot to bring shoes for Violet and at one point I had no diapers for Charlie. And when we went to pick up the perscription for my sinus infection, I realized that I had also lost my wallet.

Well, no big deal, I'm sure I just left it at the house. And when it didn't turn up there, I was sure that I had just left it at my apartment. But when I drove out to my apartment to look for it today and didn't find it there, either, I was stressed almost to the point of mental instability. I remembered the last place I had used it-- the Ghetto Kroger. I'm not applying that term liberally, either; it really is ghetto. There was a shooting there a few years ago. And on the day that I last had my wallet, I saw a giant cockroach crawl across the checkout belt and disappear under the cash register. The best part was that it wasn't even a Houston cockroach, it had a segmented body like one of those roaches from Madagascar. I kept thinking, "Okay, this store is so dirty that it spawned its own breed of cockroach. THAT is ghetto."

At least that disgusting image was burned so deeply in my mind that I remembered very clearly my last precious moments with my wallet--timidly putting my groceries, purse, and wallet in the bottom of the stroller, and walking home thinking that a giant roach was going to crawl out of one of those bags at any moment. So after searching my house, I drove along the path I had walked a few days earlier, and then went into Ghetto Kroger to see if it was in the lost and found.

Allow me to illustrate what I looked like at that moment. I was sick. I had unwashed hair and no makeup. I was wearing ripped sweat shorts and an old tee-shirt. Violet had snot running down her nose and refused to wear anything but her "Princess dress" which I'm fairly certain is made from an old tee-shirt and a pillowcase. She had no shoes. And I was pushing her and Charlie around in a shopping cart, asking for a wallet. I looked like a homeless woman.

When they told me it wasn't there, I just about lost it. I drove back to my parents' house thinking that I would never again allow Brandon to leave the house. That I would have to mooch off of people for the next two weeks because I had no cash, credit cards, or drivers license. That I wouldn't be able to call our bank and authorize Brandon's use of the credit card in France because I didn't even have our credit card number. That Brandon would be stuck in France without any money.

I called my sister and my mom to vent. I was freaking out. But something that my mom said made me think about checking the trunk of my car and voila... there was my wallet. A small miracle. But I still may never let Brandon leave the house again.

Fun.

Don't worry, we are back in our bedroom.  That mess only lasted a couple of days.  I just haven't been blogging because... well, I've just been having too much fun.  I'll start my recap with St. Patrick's day, since that's when these pictures were taken.  Violet and I made rainbow cupcakes for playgroup.  They were incredibly tedious, but when the batter in your pan looks like this, how can you not be having fun?

 And they really didn't taste that good, but the kids loved them and Violet looked great with green frosting all over her face.

 She is still as sweet as ever with Charlie.  She really enjoys coaching him through tummy time.

 Charlie is getting so big.  He has decided that his fingers are a delicious alternative to his binkie.  He loves watching Violet play and laughs hysterically when she jumps around like a frog, and it is one of the most adorable things I've ever seen.

And I have been a single mom, for the most part.  Brandon keeps going on exotic field trips and coming home for a few days at a time.  Good thing I have a mom who lets me stay with her and goes shopping with me all the time.  And friends who invite me to dinner.  I've been looking for a new place to live (maybe with a garage this time?), getting a new outfit for the wedding (yay), and planning new art projects (sweet).  Tons of fun.

Can I scream now?

Good news.  Violet has a room again.

Bad news: we don't.  Unless you count the living room, which I don't.

Hot water is also gone.

We were up till 3 AM soaking up the water in the room.

Our entire closet is now in our hallway.

And I JUST got back into my pre-pregnancy jeans, so I promised myself no emotional eating.

This is gonna be rough.

don't mind the horizontal pictures